Let's Make Everything Into A Movie

When I was in elementary school one day I went for a really long dump, and took a notebook and some crayons with me. Whilst in the toilet, I filled about six pages with the adventures of a young superhero called Shoe In-Sole Man. Shoe In-Sole Man was born the day young Don Barrett stepped in some radioactive goo on the New York subway, and as a result the in-sole of his left sneaker grew and mutated into a separate being, Shoe In-Sole Man. Don himself doesn’t feature much in the story thereafter, except in a couple of scenes where you can see him pissing in the background with one shoe missing. Anyway, a few weeks ago I was surprised to learn that some Hollywood executives visiting my elementary school went into the bathroom and found my crudely drawn adventure. Amazed because they thought they had made everything into a movie already, they picked it up, shook off the piss and spent 50 million dollars to turn it into a blockbuster hit. It’s out next week.