The Grudge

When I was boy I used to study very hard. I would stay up late every night, trying to get the grades I needed to go to one of the best universities. A lot my friends had beautiful girlfriends, and went to parties, but I always stayed in, poring over biology or history or French, trying to make something of myself. My friend Jake, on the other hand, was a real ne’er-do-well. He never applied himself in class, and got everything he needed from life by dint of his looks and charm. He always had a girl on his arm, and a beer in his hand. How jealous I was! But I kept telling myself that I was working hard and making a decent future for myself, whereas Jake would one day be flipping burgers. However, Jake and I were friends, and I sometimes helped him with his assignments.
Then came the end of the school year, and it was time for us to sit our exams. I was next to Jake, and we told each other ‘good luck’ as we sat down. The test started, and about halfway through I noticed that Jake was glancing over at my desk. He was copying my answers. I tried to signal to him to stop, but he just waved me away, whispering ‘It’s cool’. After all those long nights studying at home while he was out partying, it didn’t feel right that he should pass now by copying from me.
A few days after the test we were both summoned to the principal’s office. He took out our test sheets and showed us how we had chosen the exact same answers for every question. Even a few silly mistakes I had made showed up in the same places on his paper. I was furious, but I didn’t want to get my friend in trouble, so I insisted that it must be a coincidence, and so did he. We were both expelled.
Being expelled threw me into a deep and lasting depression. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t eat. I could hardly smoke. But it was the best thing that ever happened to Jake. Being expelled finally faced him to take a look at his life, and he really pulled his act together. He opened his own shop, selling skateboards and clothes, and turned it into a nationwide chain. He is now a multi-millionaire who still gets all the women, while I still live with my mother, eating frozen food and farting under my Masters Of The Universe duvet. I used to resent Jake so much, but now I have a plan to make everything better. Sometimes people say that holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die, the moral being that if you have a grudge you should actually do something about it.